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Posted by Gregory 
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Announcement Message Board Rules 10/13/2013 03:03AM
November 10, 2013 11:49AM
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....

************************************************** *******

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.

************************************************** ******************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,
'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver
hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I
excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** **********

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car.You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started.....

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